


vape?

by booboolius



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Gen, vape?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 20:18:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10498719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booboolius/pseuds/booboolius
Summary: anthy do you vape?





	

**Author's Note:**

> got the idea from my friend jay  
> i finished utena last night and ive been thinkin about it all day

The day was April 3rd; the time, 11:42 am. Anthy was chilling in the hot house by herself, watering the roses with her gold custom-made Match Pewter Watering Can. As she was watering the fourteenth row of multicolored roses (multicolored because she supported the gays), she heard the door swing open and slam against the wall, causing several flowerpots to rumble about.

Anthy exhaled. “Hello Saionji,” she greeted without turning around.

“What is the meaning of this?!” he howled, storming into the house without closing the door behind him.

She shifted over to water a different section of roses. “What do you mean?”

Saoinji stomped over to her and waved their shared journal near her face. “You don't vape?”

“No,” she replied. The watering can was empty.

“You've never vaped?”

“No…?” The nearest water hose was outside the hot house. Unfortunately, Saionji stood firmly between her and the exit.

He jammed one hand into his seaweed green pants pocket which coincidentally was the same shade of seaweed green as his hair, which resembled seaweed in both texture and color. Seconds after sifting through his grimy boy pockets, he pulled out an equally grimy vape pen. “So you’re telling me that you’ve never used one of these?” Despite being covered in lint, it glistened slightly in the sunlight.

Anthy shook her head. “I have not.” Furiously pressing the jewel button five times, Saionji held the now-leaky vape pen out towards her expectantly. Her eyes darted between the nasty vape pen and Saionji’s sweaty face. Why was he always so goddamn sweaty? 

Before either could speak again, Utena shoved past Saionji and entered the hot house. “Hey guys,” she said.

“Hello Miss Utena,” Anthy smiled, turning towards her slightly. “Did you enjoy your lunch?”

Utena’s eyes lit up at the mention of food. “Yeah! It was delicious.” She leaned in to Anthy, cupping her hand around her mouth. “Hey is he bugging you or something?”

“Oh, no,” Anthy lied, shaking her head once more. “Saionji and I are talking about…’vaping’?” She wasn’t sure if she had even pronounced it correctly.

Glad to finally be relevant in the conversation again, Saionji shouted to Utena, “Can you believe Anthy doesn’t vape? Who the hell doesn’t vape?!”

Utena wriggled her pinky in her ear. Did he have to shout all the fucking time? “So? It’s not for everybody.” She wasn’t one hundred percent sure what vaping was either, but she wasn’t about to let this moldy dorito lookin boy come after Anthy.

“Tenjou!” he exclaimed, now aiming his grungie vape pen at her. “Do you vape? Have you ever vaped? Please tell me you vape.”

Eyebrows furrowed, she placed a hand on her chin and tilted her head, she was deep in thought. She knew she’d heard of vaping before, but for whatever reason she was drawing a blank. How could she say whether or not she’d vaped if she didn’t even know what it was? After minutes of silence, Utena said, “Oh! Isn’t vaping when you smoke water or whatever?”

Saionji inhaled deeply and pointed his pen more aggressively as if to yell at her some more, then paused, slowly lowering his pen in defeat. She wasn’t wrong. “I mean. Yeah? What are you—”

“Well why would I do some dumb shit like that?” she snapped, cutting him off. “If you wanna smoke something, smoke! If you wanna drink water, drink water! Doing both at the same time is stupid!”

Within seconds, Saionji collapsed to the ground, bruised and bloodied. Tears were streaming down his angular face. His career had come to an end. His pride? Shattered. Utena just ended vaping.

“If you’ll excuse me, then.” Anthy stepped over his body and made her way to the hoses. Now that he was out of the way, she could refill her watering can.


End file.
